Mark Zuckerberg Asks Hawaiian Neighbor To Cut Down Unsightly, Overgrown Rainforest

KAUAI, HI—Growing increasingly frustrated by the lack of respect shown to his 1,500-acre estate, Mark Zuckerberg reportedly asked his Hawaiian neighbor this week to cut down the unsightly, overgrown rainforest encroaching his property. ‘It’s unfair that there’s this gigantic canopy of native trees completely obstructing my beautiful view of the horizon,’ said Zuckerberg, adding that the realtor failed to mention that the neighbor had an unkempt biome on their property. ‘That whole natural habitat over there is a real eyesore.